either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
