zippers are such a cool invention
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
