Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
