I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
