something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
