shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
