Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
