what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
