I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
