dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
