Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
