It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My liver just had a heart attack.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Of course I have a pirate flag
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
