im having a threesome with these popsicles
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
