I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
handjob tips. give me some.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
