The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
