I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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