so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
