How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
