More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
