you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
