words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
