he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
