What did we do last night that was yellow?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
