oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
