i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
operation harelip BJ is a go
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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