Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
