Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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