Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
