I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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