Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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