my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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