tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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