the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
