Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
