It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
