I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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