So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
