i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You can't just leave with hair like that
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
