so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's blow job season.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
