I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Randomize
