I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
