Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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