You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
