Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
