No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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