And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
