I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
