Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
