hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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