i barfeds in our rink
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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