just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
