Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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